"Hey Mom?"

My son came in from running through the snow after being at his friend Sean's house.
I made him some food. We sat down to watch a little TV.
"Hey Mom?"
Really long pause.
"A lot of people have trouble understanding me. Is that going to go away?"
Another pause.
"It's hard, because inside my head, it sounds exactly the way it's supposed to, to me. "
Ouch.
He started speech therapy when he was 3. He's 11 now. They kicked him out of speech at public school a year or so ago. His speech wasn't bad enough to qualify anymore. I was shocked. "Seriously?" I had asked. There were six people from the school there. "Can anyone in this room understand him all the time? Because I can't, and I'm his mom."
He has resisted doing any private speech work outside of school. Which I really understand. He's already got a serious learning disability and uses so much energy just getting through the school day. Extra speech work adds a lot to his day. But I guess it's time for us to consider it more seriously. Which is how I responded to him.

While he's made huge progress in his reading and writing, his
frustration and anger issues are increasing. And they are becoming
increasingly hard for me to manage. And it is not just me. His teacher
at his Derek Zoolander school has been having trouble with him. And
our long time babysitter for the past 8 years left because she
couldn't handle his anger. This has just been breaking my heart.
I came across an idea that I am going to pursue to help him with the
emotional stuff. It's an alternative therapy tool called EFT. I did
it about 5 years ago when I was at Canyon Ranch in the Berkshires. It
helped me with a few things. I have a friend with some experience
with it. I had lunch with him yesterday, and he recommended a woman here in Boulder. I had been coincidentally been getting her e-newsletter for a few months, as I had stumbled across
her website myself while researching a few things. Things just seemed to be converging. So I've emailed her about doing a consultation with A and me.
I've been through a lot with MS, and with A, and I know enough
not to get my hopes up too high. I also trust my gut sense. So, I'll
allow myself some small hope around EFT helping A.
I'll do what I always do -"the research"- and find someone to work with him on speech. We'll give the EFT a shot. And we'll do whatever comes after that. Another thing I did was get back in touch with the special ed staff at his public school. I need a new IEP for his emotional stuff and to get him back in the spec ed pool in time for middle school. They kicked him out of special ed when we put him in the part-time Zoolander school.
Meanwhile, I'm doing my information gathering on my next post-Tysabri strategy for MS. For certain I'm staying on the diet (see the book "The MS Recovery Diet"). In a week I'm going to go see 'Andrea Cohen, Holistic Neurologist' to talk about LDN (low-dose Naltrexone. Thanks for the nudge, Sherri!) and any other ideas she has. She's helped me so much with my various body issues. I function much better on a day-to-day basis thanks to her.

I kind of get that this is what life is. Problems come and go, and come again. And we strategize.
I'm glad that life also offers some other things. Like the gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free pumpkin pie I found at Vitamin Cottage yesterday. Thank you, Deby's Gluten Free Bakery of Denver.

 And like playing "Let It Be" as an interlude tomorrow at church. My church
band gig is really feeding my soul. Having a regular gig is pretty
damn good. And how the Cartoon Channel shows one episode of the UK version of 'The Office' in the wee hours every Saturday morning, once a week.
It's the hard, and the good, one step at a time.

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