Sunday, August 03, 2008

But church will make you feel better

My 9 year old son, Adrian, this morning says:

Mom, aren't you supposed to be at church?

Me: Well, I didn't go.

A: Why?

Me: I'm not feeling very good.

A: But church will make you feel better.

Me: But I have to have the energy to get there and I don't.

Yesterday I gradually realized I was having an MS flare, and it continues today. Trouble talking, trouble thinking, trouble writing, trouble driving, weak arms, highly fatigued. And, I might add, very sad and depressed. The only time I don't go to church is when MS is acting up or I'm away. I play in the band and it is just too hard for me to get there and do it on these "MS" days.

I've usually been able to understand what is causing a flare-up. With me, it is frequently an infection. But I don't have one that I know of. Yeah, I did just come back from traveling and slighly overdoing it. I am fairly stressed about Tysabri. I am behind on work for my keyboard class. Can reaction to stress cause flare-ups? I really don't know. I know there is speculation that it does, but I don't think there are any studies that have shown it.

There's not much to do but wait it out. And church would make me feel better.



Sometimes I've found that I just must rest and do nothing. When I've overdone it, like lots of travel or not eating and sleeping well, symptoms flair up and make daily living more challenging. Usually this doesn't qualify as a real exacerbation for me unless it lasts for over a week. I know....the literature says more than 24 hours, but I'm stubborn and slow to admit some things.

I'm not aware of any studies which look into stress and leading to a relapse (I'll have to look into that). But after a very stressful event in February this year, I moved into an honest-to-goodness relapse by March.

You have been under some physical (and exciting) demands lately. And the Tysabri news isn't easy to take as a reminder of the potential risks involved. That alone would increase my depressive tendencies and make things hard, but I do see that the safety protocols in place did work in identifying these two patients

I also seem to recall that you have applied for medical leave and/or part-time work. That could also contribute to stress levels, although if approved will ease some stressors.

Staying home today to rest is a good thing in that you are listening to your body and not demanding more from it then absolutely necessary. Question for you - would it ever be possible to attend services but not play in the band? Maybe you could gain from the spiritual offerings without taking away from your weakened physical reserves. Just a thought.

I hope that you begin to feel better soon. And if you suspect a UTI, get thee hither to the doctor for some antibiotics.

trrish said...


Thank you so much. It is so comforting to me when I remember (because you or Amy or CC or someone else reminds me) that I'm not alone with this.

You know, my husband said to me this morning "maybe you just need to rest."

It definitely takes me about a week of feeling like this before I will think of it as an 'episode'. So far, this is merely a coming attraction.

The thing about the big T is that these two people were not on other MS drugs, and that is what is giving me much pause for thought.

Your question about going to the services but not playing is a great one. I asked myself that this morning. It hurts me to be there and not play. Not sure what that's about. I have done it a few times since I started playing. Something for me to think about.

paulobrian said...

Well, fuck.

I'm sorry to hear it.

trrish said...


You know, your last little reminder about the UTI stuck in my head so tonight I did a home test and it was positive. @#$%&?!!!!

I cannot explain how I didn't know it already. I think I nearly always think I have a UTI so I start discounting the signs because I think it is all in my head.

thank you for that little push,


paulobrian said...

Well, at least there's a clear explanation now.

Diane J Standiford said...

Ah! The power of blogging! UTI's left untreated can kill people with MS, we are sometimes numb to usual pain...LOL, church does make people feel better and if you are exhausted find a quiet place and pray. Antibotics should ix you right up. "Stress" puts added pressure on any body. :-) Take it easy.


Well, there you go.

Sometimes just a little brainstorming amongst friends can lead to a solution.

I hope you begin to feel much better very soon.