Thursday, April 03, 2008

When you see crazy walking down the street...

....check in - it might be me. Say 'are you trrish??'

So I am, so far, not much of a 'roid rager but a 'roid weeper. I've been crying for 5 hours. It would be funny if I could just stop crying for a minute :-).

My test came back that I still have a UTI, so that is a big part of what is fucking me up. It may mean that the NABS won't come back as the problem. I think I would be happy about that. I will pick up more antibiotics tomorrow. The good news is, no sign of PML in the MRI.

I hope I learned a bit from this one. I think I need to call the MS clinic sooner. I always, always wait. Partially because I always think if I try harder, I'll feel better. Then, I think 'oh, the bladder infection is just in my head and it won't show up on the test. So why test." Then, I think they are just going to want to put me on steroids and I've got mixed emotions about them. Something I've observed over the last ten years is, when I am not feeling normal and good, I am frequently having an MS episode, whether I initally 'get it' or not. So maybe, "when in doubt, assume MS" ??

I expect a rough 3 or 4 days ahead, so I've cancelled everything, postponed a class I was taking at Berklee and just racheting it all down.

The next challenge is going to be figuring out how I can perhaps work part-time, but how we can still pay for Adrian's Zoolander school. Our mortagage just went up so we've go to factor that in. What are we willing to give up? The answer is likely traveling vacations, and our long-time babysitter. But again, I don't have to decide it all right now. I just need to go to sleep and get up again tomorrow!

Thanks for the support you have given me.

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